Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
