I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
