girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
