We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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