Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
