Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just tell him i said nine months
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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