If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
