But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
