Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
