It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
There's always time for handjobs
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
