it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
