real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize