i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
