I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
