hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
