I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
