I wannas sexs uuuuu
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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