yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
