Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
