There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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