i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
