It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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