i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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