So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
