And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
