I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize