It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
