And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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