I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
There's even glitter on my cock...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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