is wine microwaveable?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
