My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize