dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
