so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
