Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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