who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
