so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
