Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
