I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
