I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
