It's like a parade of train wrecks.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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