either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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