Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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