So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
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you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
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You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma