OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.