dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
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Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
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So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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