We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
