on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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