"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
