I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
