with your own penis?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
