You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
