ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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