I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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