I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
