she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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