billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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