Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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