Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
