A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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