That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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