Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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