weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
