I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
