But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
