ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
