Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
babies were throwing up all over the place
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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